Just In Case You Don't Return My Phone Calls, Here's The Big News

Starting Tuesday, since Monday is Columbus Day, I'm the communications director for Rep. Raul Grijalva from Arizona's seventh district. He co-chairs the Congressional Progressive Caucus and is, from what I can tell, a more serious thinker than Sarah Palin. Now you know why I keep calling you and leaving messages.

What this means, other than the obvious, is the following:

1) I quit bartending just in time for winter. No 2 a.m. trips home in a snowstorm on the bus.

2) I can finally afford brand-name toilet paper, not "the other kind."

3) I got a nice haircut. No more shaving my head clean every six months.

4) I have to know what I'm talking about from now on.

5) Time to go clothes shopping.

More as it develops.