What Do I Do For President's Day?

1) I buy myself a ticket to the Kirov Opera's Feb. 26 showing of Parsifal at the Kennedy Center. I have attempted in vain for several days to find someone to go with me. One likely candidate will be out of town. Others do not care for opera. I will probably have to find something nice to buy at J. C. Penney before I make my appearance.

2) I note with a bitter admixture of shame and professional interest that this sad article about Arizona racking up (what else?) huge court fines was co-written by an old colleague of mine at the university. Her name is at the bottom. I knew her.

3) I have talked to pretty much everyone I know on the phone at some point. You all know who you are. If you're not on the list, please remember that I keep my friends close and my enemies even closer. In case it makes you feel better.

4) I finished a complete screen script for my sitcom, still a work in progress but gelling nicely these days. Writing it out forces me and my anonymous patron to define the characters better than we did the night we drunkenly decided English majors are funny people and we had to show the world just how funny.

5) Well, Young Guns is on TV. That was always an embarrassing favorite.